Ever Stove Efficient

 

Lord Malarkey and I - well, mostly me, to be honest - have decided to have a new wood burning stove fitted. The one we inherited when we bought the cottage almost 10 years ago (TEN YEARS!!!) is getting on a bit and has begun to look and act its age. The door handle keeps sliding off, for example, usually when you want to open the door to pop on another log which means the door is hot, the heat coming out is hot and trying to open and close the door without use of a functioning handle becomes an extreme sport, especially if the dog tries to get involved. 

And the brick liners need replacing. Of course, we can’t source new ones because the stove is now obsolete so no genuine parts available. And the enamel is rusting off and, well, I don’t need any more excuses to buy a new stove. 

New efficiencies and regulations regarding wood burning stoves were introduced in this country in 2022 so all new stoves are now über-efficient/ eco-friendly etc etc blah blah blah. It seems sensible to make the change now before that lunatic, Miliband, declares we can only keep warm by rubbing our hands together really fast and wearing a thicker vest. 

Anyway, Lord M and I visited a stove company a couple of days ago and the choice was based purely on the fact I’d seen their van driving around our area and I thought, ‘Ah, local company!’ which I am all for supporting over these big national jobbies. We had a look around their small showroom, collected some brochures, and the nice lady in charge made an appointment for a chap to do a site visit, which he did this morning. 

‘What’s your opinion on our current stove?’ said I, after he’d made a bit of as fuss of Nell the Poo. 

‘Honestly?’ he said. ‘My opinion is it’s a bit of Chinese crap which is probably running on 40% fuel efficiency.’ 

Not a fixer-upper then. 

We had a good chat about new stoves and he was very helpful and honest about various ones I’d earmarked in the selection of brochures we brought home. He told me about his stove fitting history - the company was a family one, had been running for over 20 years, he and his son did the stove fitting and his wife and daughter-in-law ran the showroom and dealt with the business management side. I asked him what area they covered. He said, ‘Wherever people want a stove fitting,’ which I thought was an excellent marker of a good family business. 

We talked about chimney sweeps (when I discovered that he knew our regular sweep, Pete, very well and that Pete had moved to Scotland but not to worry because his company did chimney sweeping so I wouldn’t need to faff around trying to find someone new), carbon monoxide detectors, wood burner horror stories mostly involving people who had no regard for the rules and regulations for fitting wood burning stoves, and the merits of putting wood ash on your garden. I was pleased to hear that the stoves I liked were made in Britain - not far from us, as it happened - and were of excellent quality with a 12 year warranty. 

And, because it’s a quiet time of year in the wood burner trade, he said we could probably have our job all done in the next two or three weeks. Tomorrow, we are going back to the showroom to make a final selection and do the deal. Marvellous!